The Day I Met God?

“Some encounters leave you with no answers, only a question that stays with you long after the moment has passed.”

Did I?

Guess so…

It was a normal winter afternoon at the Math. I was getting ready to go to the Mandir to offer afternoon prayers and, at the same time, attend the Sandhya Arati (Evening vesper service). 

Oops, foolish of me; I started blabbering without briefing you a little. I am a devotee of the Ramakrishna Mission and went to Belur, Kolkata, for a three-day stay at the Math, although I find it a little unjust as a devotee. I mean just three days, just three days! How can that be enough for worldly people plagued with infinite, unending problems? However, that is a different debate altogether.

Now let me get back to the core of the story…

I got lucky this time, as I was allotted a room at the far end corner of the 3rd floor at the Indian Guest House on the Math Campus. What a breathtaking ambience. The Holy Ganges just a few meters away from the room; the inexplicable feel of Thakur, Maa, Swamiji gives me goosebumps even now as I am trying to pen it down.

Before going to the Mandir that afternoon, I decided to go to the Nilambar Mukherjee Garden House just on the other side of the road from the guest house, the place rented out several times for the Holy Mother to stay. 

Just at the turn of the road, a beggar lady, literally in rags, was calling out, “Maa go Maa, kichhu diye jao…” (Mother, O mother, beg you to give me something) I could not avoid that cry and at once knelt and offered a 10-rupee note. 

She looked elated at this small gesture of mine and looked straight into my eyes and said, “I have seen you somewhere…”… I was at once taken aback; how could she have seen me? I thought she must be a little eccentric, perhaps had a tragic past or something like that. I did not go deep into her words and said, “Bless me, Mother”.

She smiled and said, “May the Holy Mother bless you.” I smiled and parted.

On returning to my room, after the Sandhya Arati (evening vespers), as I sat for my routine japa, I could hardly concentrate as the lady's words, her smile, her wrinkled face flashed before my eyes. I could not meditate and, after a couple of minutes, got up from my mat. 

I had dinner at the usual time and retired to bed early, as I was getting very restless and could not understand why I was feeling so. The next morning I woke up at around 4.15 as I wanted to attend the Mangal Arati. 

By that time, I reached the ground floor; the other devotees had already left for the Mandir, so I was left all alone. The Mandir was just half a kilometer or so from the guest house, but the path to it was deserted, and it was pitch dark. I was fearful.

But I could not go back to my room just because I was scared to walk down. So I decided to stroll all by myself. I looked at both ends of the road, and there was no one to be seen. 

Suddenly, as I put a few steps out of the gate of the guest house, that beggar lady came up from nowhere and asked me if I needed help. I was terrified, as just nanoseconds ago there was no one to be seen. Guess what, I could not say no to her, and she accompanied me to Thakur’s Mandir. We did not exchange a word on the way. The security personnel at the gate gave me a stern look; I wondered why. Anyway, suddenly, as we came close to the Mandir, she was again nowhere to be seen. 

I was dumbstruck, somehow gathered guts, and entered the temple. I could not pray properly as the thought crossed my little mind of where she could have gone. After the Mangal Arati, on the way back to the guest house, I asked the security staff whether he had seen any lady a few minutes ago crossing the gate towards the ferry ghat. 

He asked which lady, and I told him that just a while before, a lady had accompanied me, and I even noticed you were staring at me strangely.

Bizarrely, he nodded and said, “I saw you walking alone to the temple, and there was no one with you”. I was dumbstruck for the third time, I believe, and silently paced to the guest house. “Who was she? Where did she go? 

Have I lost it completely? Is this just an imagination? NO…NO…it cannot be just that. How can that be… and if not, then who was she… Where did she suddenly vanish…how did she suddenly pop up when I was feeling scared to walk the path alone to the Mandir…”

I would not have the answers with me, so I decided to wait till dawn broke and check out if that beggar was there at the same place or not. Strangely, I did not find any. I waited for the next day and again decided to check out, but there was no one to be seen there.

I do not know what happened; was this just an imagination, a game of the mind, a play, or was it something else? I do not know; was it God Himself? NO… can a sinful, worldly devotee like me have His grace… 

Who knows His sport, let alone me.

Jai Maa🙏

P.S. I wrote this story back in 2017. It was originally published on my personal blog and was later submitted to a short story collection, where it was accepted for publication. I am bringing it back here because, after all these years, the mystery of that encounter still stays with me.