How to Develop Love for God When You Don’t Feel It: 3 Powerful Insights

How do you develop love for God when you don’t feel it? The answer is… You actually cannot develop love for God. It is God’s grace. It is divine grace. It is Kripa.

So now the question comes: then do we have anything in our hands? Can we do something about it?

No and yes…

There are two things we can do: Mantra Japa or Naam Japa, and praying to God.

But even here, there is a very deep mystery. To do Mantra Japa or Naam Japa, to pray for grace, and to pray for Bhakti, you need grace again. So ultimately, everything comes back to grace.

It is a very, very strange paradox of Kripa… of Mother’s Kripa.

So, this is the summary. You can skip the rest of the article if you want to. 

But I have some insights from my real-life experiences, along with a quick reminder of the words of saints.

You may find some quick and important points below that could be useful for your spiritual growth. And, of course, you may gain a little more clarity about how to develop love for God and how to cultivate love for God.

So stay with me for a few minutes… let’s find out what those main points are.

How to Develop Love for God When You Don’t Feel It: Practical Insights

Honestly speaking, I don’t know much about this. I am still a work in progress. I am just perhaps a kindergarten-level student in spirituality and Bhakti Marg.

So, developing love for God is a profound journey. Guiding someone on how to develop love for God is also something I feel deeply humbled by.

But I feel the answer is actually quite short.

There are two things you can do. With Mother’s blessings, I would like to point out those two things: Mantra Japa or Naam Japa, and continuing your prayers.

If you have already started on this journey, then continue. Continue your Mantra Japa. Continue your Naam Japa. Continue praying.

Because the person asking, “How do I develop love for God when I don’t feel it?” is generally not someone who has no connection with God at all. It is usually a devotee who is struggling to hold on to faith or trying to develop Bhakti for the Divine, for their Ishta.

That means the person has already begun the journey. They have felt something that encouraged them to begin, and they are already working on themselves.

But now they are going through a dry phase. They are no longer feeling the love for God that they once felt.

And this brings us to an important question: what do we actually mean when we say, “I don’t feel love for God”?

What Does It Mean When You Say “I Don’t Feel Love for God”?

By the word “feel”, in very common terms, we often mean the reciprocation we expect from the other end… from the Divine.

For example, if God fulfils our dreams or wishes, we may take that as a form of reciprocation from God. We feel that there is Anukulta (favourable circumstances) in our lives. We feel that we are being loved by God, that our love is being loved back by the Divine.

But when there is Pratikulta (adverse circumstances) in life, and there is no apparent reciprocation, especially regarding whatever we are desiring, asking for, or working towards, we may begin to feel that God is not responding.

We may think, “Maybe God is not listening to my prayers. Maybe God doesn’t feel my pain.”

And then we may conclude that we have lost our Bhakti, or that we no longer have love for God.

But there is another thing we need to understand.

There is no end to developing love for God. We cannot simply become like a saint immediately when we are beginners on this journey.

We can certainly take inspiration from the lives of saints, but we cannot compare ourselves with them. We are not at their level.

This lifetime may simply be about working on ourselves and moving from one level to the next… perhaps from kindergarten to first standard, then to second standard. Let us assume that the saints are at the tenth standard. There is a huge gap.

And we cannot assume that we will easily reach that level in this one life. Spiritual growth can be the work of lifetimes. There is no shortcut.

So, the first thing I have heard from saints and advanced practitioners is this: we need to keep working on ourselves despite how difficult the situation becomes.

Trust me, as I am penning this piece, nothing is particularly Anukul in my life at this moment either. I am going through many things in my life that are not at the level I thought they would be. Of course, it takes a toll on my mental, physical, and emotional health. And it affects my Bhakti too.

But then I try to remind myself of the words of the saints.

If we want to develop love for God, grow in love for God, and cultivate love for God, we need to continue our spiritual practices.

1. Continue Your Mantra Japa or Naam Japa

If you have already started a spiritual practice, continue it.

For example, if you have a Guru, or you have started doing Naam Japa yourself, continue doing it. If you have been listening to the words of saints and have taken inspiration from one of the most revered, such as Shri Hit Premanand Ji Maharaj of Vrindavan, and have started doing Naam Japa, continue.

We don’t have any other choice.

We have to continue doing it, even when we don’t see any results.

This is the very harsh truth I am saying. You may not like it right now, and I am not saying it only to you. I am saying it to myself too.

I am also going through a phase where I am not seeing the results I expected. But still, I don’t have any other choice. Rather, I feel extremely fortunate to have received initiation in 2015, and I do mantra japa through fingers as advised by Gurudev.

Truly speaking, this is not an obligation, although it may sound like that. I cannot simply consider my life without it.

You don’t have any other choice, trust me. You have to do it.

There is no quick fix.

And you have to grow through Mantra Japa, through Naam Japa. You cannot simply do two malas or four malas and assume that you will instantly develop love for God or that everything will suddenly work out.

If you continue doing two malas or four malas over a long period of time (regularly), of course, you may see positive changes in your life. But it may take time.

For example, suppose one devotee practises Mantra Japa for five or six hours every day, with a great deal of devotion, while I practise it for one hour every day with a decent amount of devotion. The results will vary.

My Bhakti may grow more slowly compared with that of the other devotee.

So discipline is important. Consistency is a must. At the same time, devotion, faith in the mantra, and sincerity while chanting also matter.

A lot of things come together.

But you have to continue doing the mantra. You have to continue doing Naam Japa if you wish to develop love for God.

This is the first instruction I have heard from saints and advanced practitioners who are much further ahead on this path.

What If You Want God’s Help With Material Goals Too?

There is another thing we need to understand.

If by developing love for God you mean wanting God’s help to achieve material goals and ambitions, there is nothing wrong with that.

I am also in that category.

Everyone cannot become a monk, and everyone cannot lead the life of a monk. We are householders, and we have material goals. We need money to survive and sustain ourselves.

So if you want to develop love for God for your material goals as well as for your spiritual aspirations, that is completely understandable.

But again, the point comes back to how much Mantra Japa or Naam Japa you are doing and how sincerely you are doing it.

For example, suppose you do 10,000 repetitions of Naam Japa in a day. Perhaps you do 10 malas with complete attention and sincerity, while the remaining repetitions happen while you are working, exercising, or cooking.

That is okay.

But intensity matters too. The results will vary depending on the intensity, devotion, and sincerity with which you practise.

I choose to believe in the words of the saints.

From what I have heard from them, things will eventually materialise and fall into place, but you have to continue doing Mantra Japa. You have to continue doing Naam Japa.

So this is still part of the first thing I mentioned: continue your spiritual practice.

2. Continue Your Prayers

Just as Mantra Japa and Naam Japa are important practices for developing love for God, prayer is also very important. 

If you are someone who believes in prayer and has always had the habit of praying to God, don’t give up that habit.

To me, prayer is like talking to God. It is a way of constantly trying to have a conversation with the Divine. I am not that advanced, so I don’t always find answers immediately. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

I consider that my own shortcoming because I have not reached that level of purity where I can understand the answers from Mother.

But the saints say that God listens to every single word you say.

We may not be able to feel or understand it until we become purer, until we reach a more Satvik state.

So, as the advanced practitioners and saints say, I simply continue praying.

With God’s grace, whenever something good happens in my life, I thank God for it. I embrace that moment with gratitude and thank God for it.

If someone sends me a gift, sends me something I love to eat, or if anything, big or small, good happens in my life, I first thank Mother internally.

That way, I always try to strike up a conversation with Mother.

And what if you don’t feel like praying, or you don’t know what you should pray for?

What if you don’t feel any emotion? What if you feel dry? What if your faith feels mechanical?

It is okay. I understand that. I have gone through such phases too.

But if you are a person who has always believed in praying, don’t give up this habit.

Prayer can bring miracles into your life.

So don’t give up this habit. Keep speaking to the Divine, speaking to Mother, or speaking to whoever your Ishta Devata is.

Always try to engage God in your life, in every single thing you do.

If something difficult happens, or if you feel that you are not able to help yourself, pick up your phone, open your gallery, and look at Mother’s photograph. Or, wherever you have Her photograph or image in your room, look at Her and talk to Her.

Trust me, God listens to every single word.

We are not pure enough to understand this. We don’t have that level of vision to understand the Divine’s play. But the saints say that God listens.

And our problem is that if things don’t work out the way we want, we think God has not listened to our prayers.

If things do work out the way we want, we conclude that God has listened to our prayers.

This is where we make a mistake.

So keep praying even if faith feels forced. Don’t give up on prayer.

It is a very important practice in spirituality, especially in Bhakti Marg.

For me, prayer is a way to come closer to God and engage God in every single thing I do.

It is a way of continuing the conversation with God and asking for His intervention, for His Kripa.

3. Remember God’s Grace, Even When You Cannot Feel It

There is one more point I want to add as a bonus, and that is Kripa… God’s grace.

When I think about how to develop love for God when you don’t feel it, my conclusion from life so far has been that everything is God’s Kripa.

At least when it comes to the good things in my life, I attribute them to God.

I won’t say that my bad karma, whatever bad things I have done in life, were done by God. But I attribute my good things to God only.

I cannot even give you a logical explanation for this if you ask me why.

I don’t know.

I simply want to attribute all the good things I have in my life to God, to my Ishta, to Holy Mother, to the Divine Mother.

I feel a certain happiness in doing that, and I am going to continue doing it.

So I would request you to try doing that too.

To me, every good thing is God’s Kripa.

And even the difficult things in life may be God’s Kripa in ways that we cannot understand.

I am not saying that God has caused the bad things we experience. But I believe that through the sufferings we undergo, the Divine Mother may be helping to negate our bad karmas in a comparatively smoother way.

We may feel that the pain we are going through is enormous. But perhaps something much bigger was destined to happen, and Mother is making the journey smoother for us.

It may not feel smooth to us in our current circumstances.

But perhaps She is doing that… somehow protecting us every second so that we can pass through these hard times.

So, the bonus point is God’s Kripa.

We may not understand God’s grace, but it is genuine.

Even if you are doing Mantra Japa, even if you are practising Naam Japa, even if you are praying, none of these things can happen without God’s grace.

Directly or indirectly, this too is God’s grace in your life.

So don’t look at everything and think, “Everything is negative in my life.”

I am saying this from a very personal point of view because I understand why you may be asking this question. I am going through a lot of challenges in my own life too.

But through God’s Kripa, I am still trying to chant Her name. I am still trying to pray to Her.

So whenever you pray to Her, ask for Kripa.

Ask Her to bless you.

And always ask Her that you may never forget Her.

You can say:

“Mother, please hold my hand. I am not pure enough to remain attached to You. I may forget You at any moment. So please make sure that You don’t forget me. Please hold my hand tightly, Mother. Mother, please have Your grace on me so that I never forget You and can continue chanting Your name.”

As Shri Hit Premanand Maharaj says, always ask God for Bhajan. Ask God to give you the power to chant His name as much as possible.

Of course, you can ask God for Anukulta, for good times and good things in life. You can ask for those things. Absolutely.

But at the same time, ask God to give you the power to chant more and more. Ask for the strength to continue your spiritual practices more and more.

So these are some of the main points you can follow in your life.

And I am sure that, with God’s grace, you will see some difference.

How to Develop Love for God When You Don’t Feel It: Final Thoughts

Perhaps how to develop love for God is not really about trying to create a feeling within ourselves. Sometimes, we may simply need to keep walking, even when the heart feels dry, and the Divine seems distant.

Continue your spiritual practices. Keep talking to God, even when you don’t know what to say. And most importantly, keep asking for Kripa.

Because perhaps cultivating love for God is less about forcing ourselves to feel more and more, and more about staying connected until God’s grace slowly does what we cannot do by ourselves.

And if you are going through a tough phase right now, don’t assume that your journey has stopped. 

Keep going.

Jai Maa…🙏